Tired of doing the same old things year after year around the holidays? Feel like you have an endless list of events that you have to attend annually but not sure why you’re still doing them? Then how about we update some holiday traditions to make them more relevant to our modern lifestyles!
For example, the song “Baby It’s Cold Outside” has come under fire recently as perpetuating outdated gender roles. How about we change it to “Baby It’s Cold INSIDE”? This could reflect our desire to be energy conscious by turning down the heat. Also, it could bring out the nostalgia for any Gen X-ers out there who remember the Blizzard of ‘78.
Rather than suffering through yet another manifestation of the holiday staple “A Christmas Carol”, couldn’t we just watch reruns of the Carol Burnett Show? I know which one I’d find more enjoyable. But—if I ever find myself involved in a production of “A Christmas Carol”, I will insist that rather than Jacob Marley’s head appearing on the door it will be Bob Marley instead, complete with reggae music.
Kissing under the mistletoe? Do I look like I want more opportunities to pick up germs? We need a post-COVID version of this. Maybe reviving an old-fashined custom, such as a bow, to be returned with a graceful curtsy?
As for food and drink, we can eliminate eggnog—didn’t we just get through an entire season celebrating a sickly sweet and highly caloric drink? Also real nutcrackers are out, due to the number of people with nut allergies.
And let’s just openly admit that nobody likes fruitcake and everyone saves them until next Christmas and just regifts them to other people. As the great Erma Bombeck pointed out, there are actually only about a half dozen fruitcakes in existence that have been circling the globe for decades.
Who wants twelve partridges in a pear tree? I propose a subscription to one of those fancy gourmet fruit boxes that get delivered straight to your door. And in place of a (presumably live) partridge, I know I’d rather have a dozen plush versions of The Pigeon, the beloved children’s picture book character.
Annoyed by those pesky carolers who show up and force you to stand at your front door enduring a painful rendition of “Jingle Bells” with a fake smile plastered on your face while you’re letting cold air in and wishing you could get back to whatever you’re bingeing on Netfilx? Let me know and I’ll organize a flash mob to assemble on your property with glow sticks to do “The Wobble” on your front lawn.
Since most people don’t have fireplaces anymore, the tradition of a Yule Log has gone by the wayside. Sure, you might have a fire pit but December isn’t the time most people want to be sitting outside. I will suggest the alternative of a Yule Dog—adopt a furry forever friend from the local animal shelter!
Lastly, I will admit I am a fan of making resolutions for the new year. But I also see how that can be a lot of pressure which might not set us up for success. I’d like to point out that there are many different kinds of calendars out there—Julian, Hebrew, several lunar ones—all of which reckon the new year at various times.
Basically, the beginning of the year is right around the corner in someone’s world. If you want to make positive changes in your life, why wait until our January 1st? Every day can be an opportunity to do something good. And you might even start some new traditions.