A few years ago I decided to get one of those mushroom logs.  You soak it in water and spritz it every day until the mushrooms sprout and you can harvest them.  I figure this is an adult version of those science-y projects you did as a kid, like growing sea monkeys or one of those crystal rock gardens.  I guess I just like oddball hobbies.  

That, and I’m a mycology enthusiast, which is a fancy way of saying that I’m really into mushrooms.  They are a great source of vitamins and protein.  I recently had “crab” cakes made out of lion’s mane mushrooms that blew me away.  I’ve heard of mushroom “coffee” for people who want to reduce caffeine intake.  Most importantly, they’re the best pizza topping.

But I see that mushrooms get a bad rap.  I read a children’s book called The Mutant Mushroom Takeover that was a bit disturbing.  And that’s coming from someone who’s a fan of fungus.  Actually mushrooms have a lot in common with aliens.  They’re weird looking.  You either love them or hate them.  You need the help of an expert to find them in the wild.

Back to the Fan of Fungus project.  The log yielded one large, furry shiitake toadstool.  My Mom refused to eat it; I guess she didn’t trust my expertise.  Funny how we are wary of food we’ve grown ourselves, yet we’ll buy something from the grocery that they got from who-knows-where, wrapped in toxic plastic.

In her defense, she grew up near an abundance of places to hunt morel mushrooms, and had them frequently in her youth.  She says she doesn’t have any idea where to look around here.  Also, it’s been so long since she has hunted morels that she wouldn’t feel confident in her ability to pick the correct ones.

(The other connection my Mom has to mushrooms is the fountain in the front yard.  In the winter, she covers it with a blue tarp, which makes it look like a giant toadstool.  She adds lights to turn it into a festive holiday fungus.  The official start of spring is the unveiling of the mushroom, which is appropriately scheduled around April Fool’s Day.)

So I went back to the website where I found the shiitake log to go for round 2.  They didn’t have any of those glow in the dark mushrooms, which is just as well since they’re poisonous anyway.  They did have a variety kit which included blue oyster mushrooms, which was pretty cool, considering there’s a band and/or cult named after them.  

But being the curious skeptic, I had to get out my Googler.  I discovered that the band name was produced when the musicians were all hanging out, and there was a bottle of Cully Stout Beer nearby.  Someone suggested coming up with an anagram from that name, and Blue Oyster Cult won the day.

I ended up getting a morel kit for Mom.  I thought she might be more likely to eat something she was familiar with.  This kit was not a log for indoors, but a package to be mixed in with mulch and spread outside.  Mom picked a spot for the mixture, but mentioned that the instructions stated that it usually takes a year or two before anything is produced.

Yogi, their adorable Goldendoodle, is a nosy dog who gets into everything.  He has a special affinity for eating mulch.  Inexplicably, he won’t go near the spot designated for the morel mushroom spawn.  There’s fungus among us.  Just because you don’t see anything, that doesn’t mean it’s not there.