I’d like to introduce myself.  My name is Yogi, and I am the adorable (if I may say so myself) Goldendoodle who lives with the Haines family.  I’m given to understand that there are several stories out there about my antics so I thought it was time for a story from my perspective.

Here’s the insider information:  I’m the one who gets everything going, keeping everyone on schedule, and ensuring all the essential household tasks get completed.  They can’t seem to get their acts together on their own.  How did these people get anything done before I came to live with them?  

Let’s start with a typical day.  I have to bark to let them know it’s time to get up.  From there Mom knows to fix my breakfast so we get that taken care of.  (I’d be happy to do it myself but it’s a bit of a challenge without opposable thumbs.)  Then I have to supervise Mom doing her stretching exercises to make sure she does them.

I wait for Dad to get up and make sure he goes out to get the newspaper.  Then he gives me part of a banana.  They’re ok, but I act really excited because I know that way he’ll make sure to buy and eat bananas if he thinks I’m the one who really likes them.  I know they’re good for him so I like to keep this habit going.

After that, it’s time to prepare to take a walk.  It takes them a while to put on layers to go outside, not to mention gathering up treats and bags.  But I keep on them because they need to get out in the fresh air and exercise.  I wonder if they’d even take walks if I wasn’t the one herding them out the door.

I choose the route because apparently neither Mom nor Dad realizes where all the good smells are.  I get going at a good clip because I must make sure they get their heart rates up so they achieve some aerobic exercise beyond just a casual stroll.  They grumble about this, but I know it’s for their own good.

Of course when I see trash on the ground I want to pick it up; litter is so unattractive.  I have to eat it because where else am I going to put it?  It’s not like I have pockets.  Plus these people are big on recycling and that’s what happens when it travels through my system and comes out the other end.

Once we get home from the walk, I rest and rehydrate before working on my strength training.  This involves standing up on my hind legs to get my forelegs on the kitchen counters.  Since Mom and Dad frequently leave food up there, I figured that was their way of rewarding me for my efforts.  But somehow they don’t seem pleased.  Talk about mixed messages.

It also amazes me that I have to bark to remind them when it’s time for my dinner.  They have clocks everywhere yet don’t know what time it is?  Whatever they are looking at on those screens must be pretty good to make them unaware of the time.  I think they’d stare at those things all afternoon if it weren’t for my intervention.

When dinner time rolls around, I’m on duty again.  I must be vigilant in case they drop something.  It’s easier to pick it up right then instead of waiting for it to accumulate into a big mess that I have to deal with later.  They make jokes about me being a vacuum cleaner, but who else is going to clean it up?

Cleanup after the meal means I have dishwasher duty.  I have to lick the dishes as they are put in because they are not completely rinsed off and still contain bits of edible food.  I guess I’m the only one who recognizes that I’m doing my part to cut down on food waste.  But do I get thanked for this?  No, I do not.  

Then they gather together for the evening ritual of staring at another screen, a bigger one that they both watch together.  Once that thing is on they don’t move or interact with each other.  I paw at Mom until she gets down on the floor and plays with me.  I know she burns more calories that way, plus it helps with flexibility.

Still, I have to bark periodically so that they finally take their eyes off that thing and get up.  It’s under the guise of having to take me outside, but I figure I’ll do whatever it takes to encourage their mobility.  You’d think they know about all the research that shows you’re supposed to move around and stretch every hour.

My last bark of the evening indicates it’s time for bed.  If I don’t do this then they lose track of time and stay up too late.  Then the morning is a struggle to get them up on time, plus they are tired and cranky the next day.  I go to bed first to set the example and they usually follow soon after.  But if they don’t then I vocalize that it’s time to settle down for the night.

All this is exhausting so it’s no wonder I need to take multiple naps per day.  It’s a lot of work running a household and managing people who can’t seem to get organized on their own.  I honestly don’t know what they would do without me.  At least they’re smart; that makes them easier to train.